Ever Alone

December 2004

One of my most profound memories of my childhood was that of loneliness.  I wrote this about myself as a little girl, but it very much applied to my life at the present time as well.  Not only was I dealing with my divorce, but through counseling I was dealing with old wounds from childhood that had been coming to the surface right along with the new ones.  God was doing a comprehensive healing of my soul ~ one that continues.

Ever Alone

Little girl, Ever Alone
With loneliness as her friend
And Fear, her faithful companion
Comes to call again.
Will no one reach a hand to you
And hold you as you weep?
Does anyone realize
How you cry yourself to sleep?
Quietly wailing in your soul
As silence fills the air.
No one hears your desperate pleas
Do they even care?

Her dreams float out the window
And are carried to the sky
They fall upon another 
More deserving than I.
That girl becomes the blessed one
She is loved and she is whole.
Security, her loving companion
And Happiness abides in her soul.

So what is left for me, Ever Alone
As my dreams fade out of sight?
The dew of hope, like droplets fall
Into the dark of night.
This little girl needs healing
For I do not understand
Where were You, Lord, where were You
When all of this began?

My broken heart was bleeding
And still I feel the scars
Of long nights alone and wondering
And wishing on the stars...

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