I remember writing this at age 12 at my dad's apartment. My parents had just divorced, my brother and sister went their own ways, and i was dealing with a lot of insecurity. I wrote this as an attempt to realize my own value and uniqueness. Looking back, I believe that the Lord was speaking His words of love to me.
I Am Me and I Am Special!
I am Lisa Marie Heeren. No one else has my name. I have blue-green eyes, a different color than anyone else's. My body is shaped just right to suit me. No one else has my body. I am unique, and I am not ashamed of myself.
I also have a different mind, unlike anyone else's. I love all animals except spiders. I love my whole family and family life, doing things together as a family. I don't have a favorite color, although I like baby blue and light pink together. I like all music (if I'm in the right mood) except orchestra. I like to draw. No one else draws the way I do. I like to write poems. No one else writes the same as I do. When I write I like to make bubble letters. No one else makes them the way I do.
I try to be nice to others, but many times the devil takes control and I do things I later regret or realize was wrong. I am trying to be a better Christian and read my bible everyday, but the devil again takes over. I realize I am a very sinful person. I also know I am a follower of the crowd. I find myself a lot of the time not being really me. I try to wear the same style of clothes as others do. I should stop this, and once more become me. I pray to God that He will help me I am a very special person, Jesus Christ died to prove that. he loves me very much and I have to learn to love me, too.
"I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Your works are wonderful,
Your works are wonderful,
I know that full well."
My longing for a deeper relationship with the Lord intensified when I was about 13. My friend Missy belonged to the Assembly of God church and she invited me one Sunday. I remember being "freaked out" by all those weird people! Missy was so excited about her faith and wanted that. I remember one day, alone in my room, I gathered all of my bibles, christian books, and a cross necklace, and laid them all out on my bed. I picked up each one and kissed it. I didn't really know how to pray, but I was trying to connect with my God. I'm sure He saw my heart and blessed me for it. It was the next year or so that I went forward for an altar call at my aunt Arlene's church. I believe I was already saved, but I wanted to "make sure"...so much that I asked to pray the prayer twice! By this time I did understand about salvation and my need for a Savior.