I Am Me and I Am Special

March 1982

I remember writing this at age 12 at my dad's apartment.  My parents had just divorced, my brother and sister went their own ways, and I was dealing with a lot of insecurity.  I wrote this as an attempt to realize my own value and uniqueness.  Looking back, I believe that the Lord was speaking His words of love to me.

I Am Me and I Am Special!

I am Lisa Marie Heeren.  No one else has my name.  I have blue-green eyes, a different color than anyone else's.  My body is shaped just right to suit me.  No one else has my body.  I am unique, and I am not ashamed of myself.

I also have a different mind, unlike anyone else's.  I love all animals except spiders.  I love my whole family and family life, doing things together as a family.  I don't have a favorite color, although I like baby blue and light pink together.  I like all music (if I'm in the right mood) except orchestra.  I like to draw.  No one else draws the way I do.  I like to write poems.  No one else writes the same as I do.  When I write I like to make bubble letters.  No one else makes them the way I do. 

I try to be nice to others, but many times the devil takes control and I do things I later regret or realize was wrong.  I am trying to be a better Christian and read my bible every day, but the devil again takes over.  I realize I am a very sinful person.  I also know I am a follower of the crowd.  I find myself a lot of the time not being really me.  I try to wear the same style of clothes as others do.  I should stop this, and once more become me.  I pray to God that He will help me  I am a very special person, Jesus Christ died to prove that.  he loves me very much and I have to learn to love me, too.

"I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Your works are wonderful,

I know that full well." 
Psalm 139:14

My longing for a deeper relationship with the Lord intensified when I was about 13.  My friend Missy belonged to the Assembly of God church and she invited me one Sunday.  I remember being "freaked out" by all those weird people!  Missy was so excited about her faith and wanted that.  I remember one day, alone in my room, I gathered all of my Bibles, Christian books, and a cross necklace, and laid them all out on my bed.  I picked up each one and kissed it.  I didn't really know how to pray, but I was trying to connect with my God.  I'm sure He saw my heart and blessed me for it.  It was the next year or so that I went forward for an altar call at my aunt Arlene's church.  I believe I was already saved, but I wanted to "make sure"...so much so that I asked to pray the prayer twice!  By this time I did understand about salvation and my need for a Savior.