The "monster" I was writing about was my memories. They were starting to come to the surface ~ memories of some painful and frightening experiences in my childhood that I had repressed. I didn't want to let the memories out, and I didn't want to face the truth about them. But God knew this was the right time to begin bringing them to the surface. He knew the road to healing would be long, and it was time to begin the journey.
Compelled to write, but words come slow
There are too many thoughts in my mind.
Love, loss, anger, fear,
Not knowing what I'll find.
Memories of things gone by
Now are haunting me,
I am afraid of what I may find
If I let the monster free.
What will it look like?
What will it do?
How will it change lives?
I wish I knew.
But if I keep it locked away
There will it always remain;
Silently taunting my heart and mind,
Poisoning my veins.
I must let it out in some way
That will disguise it's ugliness,
Yet make it answer for all the pain
That has put me through this test.
For ten years now I've kept it silent
And now I say no more!
I need some answers about what this child
Suffered so much for.